All My Fault
by sudoku
Summary: Neal didn't fall through the portal, Henry didn't get kidnapped. However, Neal suffered from PTSD and blamed himself for abandoning Emma, bringing Tamara into town and causing his father to create the curse. Would his family be there for him this time? A story about forgiveness, redemption, self acceptance, & family. Ensemble, the Charmings, Golds, SwanFire, Snowing, & Rumbelle.
1. The Trigger

Thanks to swanheartthief for her medical advice in this chapter! Thanks to RainMirror for betaing this chapter for me!

All the mistakes, medical or otherwise are mine.

_Warning:_ Emma's language.

* * *

"You can't hold both of us!"

"I'm not letting go of you." Emma tried to pull harder but it was difficult with only one hand. She heard some movement behind her but couldn't afford to turn her head to see who it was. Too risky!

"You have to."

Damn Neal with his stubbornness. "No, you're shot," she insisted. "If you fall through that portal, you'll die no matter what world you land in."

She could see how much pain he was in, and not all of it was physical. Holding his hand on the injured side must really hurt like a bitch. She could sense the movement behind her getting closer. She hoped the uninvited guest was friendly, otherwise they were really done.

"No, Emma," he stubbornly said. "Henry needs you! He can't lose both of us. Don't make him grow up like we did!"

She heard a sharp intake of breath with Neal's last statement, so she had a good idea who their guest was. She hoped she was right as she needed all the help she could get to pull him up. She needed to focus on the task at hand for now. "Then don't let go!" She still saw him being stubborn so she needed to say more. "I need you." He seemed a bit hopeful with that so she added hesitantly, "I love you."

She didn't expect him to say, "I love you, too," so she was pleasantly surprised to hear the words, despite their precarious situation. Her happiness was short-lived though, as she felt Neal release his hand from her grip. She was about to cry out, then she saw that David had caught Neal's hand just in time.

The portal was still open though. She guessed something had to go through before it could close. "David, please hold on a bit longer!" She scanned her surroundings and saw her gun nearby. She tossed it through the portal and the green vortex swirled more violently before finally closing. David struggled with Neal's weight so she quickly helped pull him up.

The three of them lied in a tangle of limbs. Emma immediately realized that Neal's position was critical. She knew a thing or two about gunshot wounds. She arranged his body to stay flat to keep the blood flowing to his heart. She removed his scarf to allow the air to flow more freely. She applied pressure on his wound to stop the bleeding.

David dialed 911. Neal seemed to be in a lot of pain but he kept looking at David and struggled to open his mouth. "Save your energy for now!" said Emma.

As usual, Neal was being stubborn. When David finally looked in his direction, he managed to say, "T..Thanks! So… sorry about leaving Em..Emma!" Then he lost consciousness.

David raised his eyebrows questioningly at Emma as he didn't know what he meant. Thankfully, the call went through so he was busy explaining their situation to the emergency personnel without Emma needing to explain.

Emma remembered her **ABCDE** of treating a gunshot wound. She felt her heart freeze when she didn't detect any breath or pulse. She stopped pressing the wound to perform CPR. She just focused on performing the 30 chest compression followed by 2 mouth-to-mouth. Everything was in slow motion and she didn't care. Just repeat the count, 30 then 2, 30 then 2, 30 then 2. She kept doing that even though her vision was blurry because of all the tears. She hadn't even realize she had cried through this entire ordeal. After what felt like an eternity, the medic finally arrived. They needed to pry her away from him to give him professional help.

She felt so helpless with nothing left to do as she had always been a girl with a plan. Thankfully, David hugged her. She put her head on his shoulder while he murmured placating sentences. They watched as the medic removed Neal's clothes to apply a defibrillator to his chest, alternating between the defibrillator and CPR. She watched with a strange detachment as his heart finally started again. Suddenly, everything went back to normal speed. They now applied pressure to his wound to stop the bleeding while someone quickly covered him up with blanket as he went into shock.

After managing to stop the bleeding temporarily, they lifted him onto a stretcher. They were going to carry him into an ambulance. "Are you coming?" they asked.

Emma quickly followed but she didn't forget about David. She turned back and said, "Thanks, Dad!" That surprised both of them. Before David had a chance to reply, she quickly added, "Call Henry, Mom, and Gold! Meet us at the hospital!"

* * *

**Notes:**

-I'm not a medic so all these medical treatments were based on discussion and research. Please forgive me for any mistakes. Now I wish he can be healed using magic so I don't need all these medical mumbo jumbo but all magic comes with a price!

-Next chapter: In the hospital plus Hook warned Emma about Tamara and Greg's plan.

-I was debating whether to leave the chapter at a cliffhanger then I decided not to, trying to be not too evil (yet). Please tell me what you think as this is the first time I write in this genre.


	2. The Surgery

Thanks for the reviews, favs, and alerts!

Thanks to RainMirror for betaing this chapter for me! Thanks to Meresger for some correction!

**Warning:** Emma's language and Hook's innuendo. I think these traits come by default with them so are these warnings even necessary?

* * *

"Where is he? I need to see my boy now!"

"He's in surgery."

"Why does he need surgery? I can just use magic to heal him."

Emma stared disbelievingly at Gold. "In the middle of a surgery? Where were you before? You could've helped us find Regina instead of wooing your new or old girlfriend. Whatever. I don't care. Hell, you could have prevented him from getting shot."

Gold staggered and clutched at the nearest bench. "Did Bae get shot because of rescuing Regina?" he asked weakly. "I didn't know he'd be involved."

Emma jabbed her finger angrily at his chest. She didn't care if he was the Dark One. "Well, there are a lot of things you don't know about your son. Did you even try to spend time with him since he arrived in Storybrooke?"

Gold couldn't hold back his tears anymore but Emma didn't care. Some things had to be said. She didn't know why Neal kept quiet all this time. If she were him, she would give him hell after what he had done. "He never confided in me about you, but you should've seen his expression when you were stabbed in New York. He still loves you very much. Did you know that he nearly fell down a portal again? He let go of my hand so that Henry wouldn't grow up alone like we did. If it weren't for David, he would probably be dead in another world."

Gold was shocked. He sat down at the nearest bench, trembling. "I'm sorry, Bae," he whispered. "I should've been there for you."

Emma now felt bad for lashing out at him. However, the issue of growing up alone had really hit her hard. She asked, "Where's Belle?"

Gold held his cane like it was his lifeline. He answered in between sobs. "She's still Lacey so I left her with Granny as she won't be much help. Where are Henry and your parents?"

Emma felt that her energy had been drained with the confrontation so she sat down next to him. "They're in the cafeteria getting Henry some hot chocolate. He's afraid he is going to lose his father after only knowing him for a few days." It then hit her that a lot of things had happened in the past few days since she had come back from New York. She had had the whole year to adjust to the weirdness of Storybrooke. Neal had done remarkably well with the all the violence and strange occurrences that had happened since he arrived. Although he had grown up in the Enchanted Forest, he hadn't lived in that world for centuries. Well, she hoped he would continue to cope if, _no_, _not if_, _when_ he recovered.

She tried to console Gold with a confidence she didn't really possess. "I think Dr. Whale is a good doctor with a great track record. Neal is in good hands."

The mention of Whale sent Gold to another frenzy. "I hope Whale didn't take what I did this morning to heart," he said. "I don't want Bae to have to pay the price. But since Bae saved him this morning he ought to repay the favor."

That confused the hell out of Emma but he wasn't in any state to give an explanation. She looked around awkwardly then breathed a sigh of relief when her parents walked in with Henry.

Henry quickly hugged Gold so she was relieved from comforting duty. David sat awkwardly next to Henry. He wasn't sure what to say to Gold.

"I forgot to ask earlier," said Emma. "Where is Regina? How is she?"

"She's fine, just needs to recuperate a bit," Snow answered. "She hasn't lost her magic. She's with the Blue Fairy. "

"Well, good for her but not so good for Neal."

"Emma, you shouldn't say such a thing," Snow admonished her. "I'm sure Neal will be fine. I think Rumplestiltskin and the Blue Fairy should be able to help if Dr. Whale can't."

"Yeah, just solve it with magic as you usually do. I'm sure Neal will be so happy about it."

"Emma, what's wrong? You're not usually this cranky."

"Gee, I don't know. Nobody believed me when I said Tamara was evil, except for Henry. Then we needed to save Regina, who has tried to kill us numerous times. It turned out I was right all along; Tamara was behind all these schemes. She shot him and threw a magic bean at us. He saved me and nearly got sucked into a portal. I tried to guilt him by saying I love him and he said he loved me too before having the audacity of letting go of my hand. Luckily, David caught him just in time. Then he stopped breathing so I needed to do CPR. How is that for a day?"

Once Emma had finished her rapid tirade, she finally broke down into sobs.

Snow wasn't sure she caught all that, but she _did_ hear the part about Emma loving him and him loving her back! She hugged Emma and said, "Oh Emma! You _do_ love each other, just as I thought. I'm sure everything will work out in the end."

"How can you be sure of that? How can _love_ save a gunshot wound with infections and blood loss?"

"Well, for a start, we have Frankenstein as a doctor." Emma managed a weak smile at that. "I'm sure it counts for something. Besides, I'm sure Rumplestiltskin will think of something to save his only son, whom he has sought for ages. I know I would no matter what it costs."

Emma hugged her back. "You didn't see Gold earlier. He looked so helpless. I'm sure he'll move heaven and earth, quite literally, to save Neal. Oh no! I blamed him for not helping to save Regina when I was the one to ask Neal to come along. What was I thinking?"

Snow stroke Emma's head. She had missed out on comforting her daughter for 28 years and she wasn't going to miss another opportunity. "Oh, Emma. You didn't know what was going to happen. You didn't force Neal to come along with you. Blaming yourself won't help at all."

"Thanks, Mom. I did sort of guilt him into coming along though, but later he said he wouldn't leave me alone. He said he would back me up."

Snow was thankful for that. "I think he did a great job helping you, don't you think?"

"Yeah, at the cost of his own life. I'm not sure what to say to him when he recovers."

"I think _thank you_ will be a start. It has been a long day. Why don't you go get yourself something to eat? I'll call you as soon as I hear anything."

Emma looked at Henry who was still hugging Gold. She wasn't sure who was comforting whom. David hovered uncertainly beside them. "What about Henry?"

"Henry has eaten. He will be fine. Kids are more resilient. Go take a rest. We'll be here."

* * *

Emma was grateful for the temporary relief. She munched on a sandwich in the cafeteria. She wasn't sure how she felt. A lot of things had happened. She didn't tell Snow about Neal's apology and their Tallahassee. It was all too much to explain in a short period of time. She remembered vividly admitting her love to Neal and that he reciprocated. That was the happiest second in her life before everything went to hell again, as usual. She wasn't sure whether she'd still have the same feeling when Neal recovered. She noticed she used the word _when_ not _if_. _I guess mom's positivity has rubbed off on me. _

She heard a familiar voice and raised her head. There was a figure at the door. She put her head on the table and counted to twenty and raised her head again. The figure was still there so it wasn't hallucination. _What has she done to deserve this?_

"What do you want, Hook? Come here to gloat?"

Hook had the audacity to wink and sat opposite her. "Well, for a start, I'd like your lovely company. You're not eating Jell-O, are you?" He peered at Emma's food suspiciously.

"Go away! If you want to gloat, you've come to the wrong place. Gold is over there. Wait, what? Jell-O?"

Hook seemed to be relieved that Emma wasn't eating Jell-O. "Yes, I hate that thing. It's wriggly and evil. It's not natural. Why do people in this world feed the sick with such an atrocity?"

Emma didn't want to follow up this thread of conversation. Speaking with Hook tended to make her blood boil even without the complexity of explaining the working order of this world. "What do you want, Hook? If you want to hurt Gold through his son, I think you're too late. It's done, unless you want to finish the job."

"People close to the crocodile often get hurt. He should think about it."

"Seriously? You want to go there. What's wrong with your and Regina's obsession with revenge? Get a life! You were the one shooting Belle. She was not hurt by him. Neal was shot by his fiancée and it had nothing to do with who his father was." Emma added quietly to herself, "But he did get shot because of me."

"What, exactly, do you mean by get a life? I plan to do that by killing the crocodile."

Emma put her head on the table again and counted to fifty. She was only at twenty three when Hook interrupted her, "What're you doing? You don't need to dream of me while I'm right in front of you."

Emma pulled Hook's collar. "Why did you come here?"

"I like women who like it rough."

Emma pulled his collar harder and hissed. "Please tell me what you want or I swear I will stick Jell-O somewhere the sun doesn't shine."

"I'd rather be the one doing the sticking."

Emma yanked even harder until Hook was in danger of turning blue.

"I came here to check how Milah's son is doing."

Emma didn't expect that. She released her hold slightly. "Isn't Milah the name on your tattoo?"

Hook raised his eyebrow suggestively but the effect was reduced as he was still gasping for air. "Ah, you remembered. I knew you would."

"Shut up, Hook. So Milah is Neal's mother. Does it make you his stepdad? How come he never mentioned that?"

"Swan, you need to release your hold on me if you want me to explain properly."

Emma released him.

"Well, Baelfire has always been stubborn. And he…uh…didn't take it well when he discovered that I took his mother away from his father. He never accepted me."

"I couldn't imagine why," she replied dryly. "Are you insane? Taking the Dark One's wife?"

"Well, he wasn't the Dark One when Milah left."

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, that made all the difference."

"Well, love, while I'm sure you'd like nothing more than to sit here all day flirting with me, I do have important matters to discuss with you."

Emma groaned and put her head back at the table. "Why me?"

"I couldn't possibly speak to the crocodile face-to-face without giving into the desire of stabbing him. Your father is very angry with me because I knocked him out in the sheriff station and I think you mom has similar attitudes as your dad. I might have also unleashed a giant on them."

Emma finally raised her head. "Gee, again, I wonder why. Don't you remember the last time we met, when you pushed me into a wall, then I knocked you out and tied you to a storage room?"

"Ah, I know you're into kinky stuff so I don't take it personally. All you need to do is just ask."

She aimed to take hold of Hook's collar again but he quickly backed away. He swiftly produced a stone which looked like a big black diamond. "OK, I stole this from that lass Tamara and her lad, Greg."

"Do you want to bribe me? I don't care much for diamonds. "

"I want to do more than bribing." He wriggled his eyebrows again. When he saw Emma was about to lunge at him, he quickly added, "No, it's not a normal diamond. This is apparently what they called the _failsafe_, whatever that means. I think your queen, Regina,…" He ignored Emma's interruption that she was not her queen. "I think Regina created this diamond to destroy Storybrooke in case the curse broke or if she was bored. Whatever she fancied I guess. Greg retrieved this diamond from her when they captured her. I managed to steal it from him when they didn't notice."

Emma crossed her hands in front of her chest. "Why do you want to help me? What's in for you? Why should I trust you?"

"Love, I might be a pirate but I don't want the blood of the innocents on me. Besides, Milah's son is among the innocents. I had done that boy a lot of wrongs and he has suffered enough. I heard he was involved in saving Regina."

"Yes, he was."

"Always trying to be the hero. I told him it'd get him killed but as I said, he's always been stubborn."

Emma remembered Neal releasing his hand from her hold. "Yes, I know what you meant. Won't you get into trouble for helping me?"

"So now you worry about me. I'm touched. Don't worry, I'll be hiding in my ship. That's why I came here first. I hope you can catch them so I don't need to face them again. Here is their hiding place." He produced a piece of paper to give to Emma. "By the way, I heard they wanted to take Henry away as well, something about that's what the Home Office wants. If I were you, I would hold on to him."

Hook's statement froze her blood. "Why do they want Henry?"

"I have no idea, lass. I've got to go before the crocodile or your parents come here."

Hook made to leave but before he reached the door, Emma called out to him. "Thanks for your help! I'm sure Neal will be happy that you warned us about Henry."

"What has Baelfire got to do with Henry?"

It was Emma's turn to raise her eyebrow. "You didn't know that Neal is Henry's father?"

He looked stunned. "No, I had no idea. I hope Baelfire recovers."

"Thanks, I guess. Henry needs his father. A son shouldn't lose his father at such a young age."

"Yes, and a father shouldn't lose his son," he added wistfully, then left.

Emma tried to decipher what he meant. Both Hook and Gold had been cryptic. Her thought was interrupted by her ringtone. She picked it up and heard her mom on the other end. "Emma, Whale has finished performing surgery. Do you want to come listen to what he has to say?"

"OK, Mom, I'll be there ASAP."

* * *

**Author's Note:**

-I hope they're in characters. I find it difficult to write Hook's speech.

-I inserted some humor as I can't really write full on angst.

-Next chapter: The commencement of Operation Phoenix, Rumbelle, Snowing, Swanfire family's angst plus Regina's snark. Before that, I'll update "How to Break Tamara's Spell aka Operation Swanfire" first as that only has one chapter left.

-Please let me know what you think.


	3. The Awakening

_Thanks for the reviews, follows, and favs!_

Thanks to RainMirror for betaing this chapter for me!

* * *

"Dr. Whale, why hasn't Bae wakened up from his surgery? You said it would be 24 hours at most. It has been three days."

Whale sometimes hated his job. He preferred working back in his homeland, trying to resurrect the dead. There, he would get fame if he succeeded. Here, he worked with living people, which meant he needed to polish his bedside manners and sometimes deal with difficult patients or family of the patients, like Rumpelstiltskin.

It was not his fault he was the only surgeon in Storybrooke. He really needed to thank Regina for that. That woman was vindictive. Despite his earlier misgivings about Rumpelstiltskin, he understood that his son was a good person who rescued strangers. He had done his best removing the bullet and stopping the internal bleeding. That had taken hours of concentration. He needed to induce a medical coma to allow the bleeding to stop faster. Usually the patient would wake up automatically when the anesthetic wore off.

Apparently not this patient. He should've known that the Golds (it was hard to call the family the Rumpelstiltskins) and the Nolans (or were they the Charmings? These dual identity issues really created nightmares for professionals) were prone to getting shot, falling into unexplainable comas, and amnesia. With his luck, the son of someone wanting to humiliate him to impress that woman got the first two. He hoped Rumpelstiltskin's son wouldn't get amnesia but with current trends and what he knew about the side effects of comas, he might as well get it.

"Well, as I said, this is a very unusual case. I think it might be psychological."

"Are you saying my son doesn't want to wake up? Why wouldn't he?"

Whale added internally, "Why would he with a father like you and a possible stepmom like that?" Well, to her credit, the woman wearing the same face as the woman he had met three days ago had a different demeanor. It was as if she actually cared for other human beings and felt the pain Rumpelstiltskin was facing.

Externally, he said, "Medically, he's fine despite the blood loss and infections." Rumpelstiltskin glared at him. He gulped nervously and continued. "What I meant was with his current condition, he shouldn't have any trouble waking up. Therefore, I think the problem must lie with the internal thoughts of the patient himself."

"What use do you have then? What can you do to wake him up?"

Whale bristled at the implication. He was the best surgeon here. Well, he was the _only_ surgeon here but that was beside the point. He had done his best, which should equal the best of any fine surgeon in this country. "Well, I removed the bullet, stopped the internal bleeding and gave him medication for infections so don't tell me that I didn't do anything. I suggest you and the rest of the family talk to him to encourage him to wake up."

"Can I just use magic to wake him up?"

"I thought you tried that a few times." Sadly, it was true. Whale had seen Rumpelstiltskin try. It was actually painful to see him try and fail. His face would just crumble like he had lost all hope, which Whale guessed was true for his case. "Unlike your sleeping curse, the cause is not magical, so there is no magical solution." The mention of the curse left a bad taste in his mouth.

Rumpelstiltskin advanced and glared at him dangerously. Thankfully, the woman next to him held his hand and said, "Rumple, no. We've talked about this. Violence won't solve our problem." She then directed her gaze at Whale. "Dr. Whale, did you suggest we talk to Baelfire instead? How does that even work? How many people should talk to him?"

He still looked at her suspiciously.

"I'm Belle," she said. "Sorry that you got the bad luck of encountering me with my cursed personality. I know my apology is not enough to repair your humiliation. For now, let's focus on how to wake Baelfire up."

Whale nodded curtly and said, "Well, as far as I know, coma patients can still hear whatever is going on around him or her. Not that your son is in a coma, I just say it because I can't find a better term. They just couldn't wake up or in his case he doesn't want to. That's why you need to be careful with what you say within his hearing range because he can hear everything. Not that he'll remember it when he wakes up, but what he hears influences his state of mind. I presume you need to say something that makes him feel he is needed and loved. As for how many, it's up to you, but I guess two at most because you don't want to crowd his room and it's easier to hear what oothers say and follow up if there are only two people."

Belle smiled. "Thank you, Doctor. You've been most helpful. I'll arrange for Emma and her family to come."

Whale was uncertain but Belle seemed to be genuine. He would still need to closely monitor what they were going to do but he believed with Emma and her family around, things wouldn't be too chaotic.

"OK, you do that," he said. "I'll be around if you need me."

Rumpelstiltskin hated feeling helpless. He thought he would escape this feeling after he became the Dark One. He was very much mistaken. He learned that feeling helpless didn't only relate to how much power you didn't have, but also to how much you _couldn't_ do to help your loved ones. He could get rid of Bae's infections and even cure anemia. Since the medicine in this world could take care of those, he didn't need to interfere, otherwise his son would hate him more.

Although at this time he wouldn't mind his son hating him. That would mean he was actually _awake._ Through the glass window, he looked at his son lying hooked to different machineries. Whale had explained those were for liquid, antibiotic, and even nutrition because he wasn't able to consume any food._ Has he always been this pale and thin?_

He was thankful that Belle had returned. He hated the Blue Fairy with every fiber of his being but he couldn't be more grateful to her when Grumpy came over to give him the potion to restore Belle's memory. He'd been selfish to keep Lacey as she seemed to like him for who he was. When his son hadn't woken up after the surgery, however, he couldn't bear to face it alone, so he tricked Lacey into taking the potion. Now he regretted not giving her the potion earlier. Belle had always been his rock. Although Belle felt appalled by what she had done when she was cursed, she could sense that he needed her support so she put aside her own problems to take care of him first.

She was the one urging him to rest, otherwise he'd just stay at Bae's bedside the whole time. She said she'd take care of Bae and if there was anything new she'd call him immediately. He couldn't trust anyone else but he could always trust Belle.

Now Belle proved her worth by making the call to the Charmings. He could barely contain his emotions. He didn't want to end up breaking down and begging them to come. Not that it'd be hard to ask them as they were here as often as he was. Emma literally needed to drag Henry away from his dad to ask him to eat or sleep or go to school. Emma and Charming themselves were busy with the job of hunting down Tamara and Greg. The last he heard they had arrested Greg but Tamara was still on the loose. If only he could lay his hands on her, however the most important thing now was for Bae to recover. Snow had been quite supportive and would sometimes take over so that Belle could rest. If Belle trusted her, then he could trust her as well.

"They will be here soon. Don't worry, Rumple, everything will be fine. As Dr. Whale said, it's all in his mind and I believe at least one of us can get through to him."

"Belle, you don't know how stubborn he can be."

"I know, Rumple, I know. After all, I face you every day."

Rumpelstiltskin managed to smile despite the dire situation. "Are you saying that I'm stubborn?"

"Yes, Rumple, you're even worse than your son. I believe that is your family trait."

"Oh Belle, you haven't even met Milah."

Belle mockingly hit his arm. "Should I be worried?"

He thought grimly about his former wife and compared her to Belle. "Definitely not. Shall we try to talk to Bae before they arrive?"

He then linked his arm with hers and walked into the room.

He sat down next to his bed. "Bae, I know you must hate me right now. I don't blame you. I hate myself most of the time. However, don't punish yourself because of me. A lot of people need you. I need you. Emma and Henry need you."

"Baelfire, we haven't actually met. I'm Belle and I need you too. Besides me, you're the only one who can get through the thick skull of your father. I know saying he can be difficult is a gross understatement, I truly do. I think I'm the only person besides you who can truly love and understand your father. We're the only ones who can make him stay good. So you need to get better, not only for yourself and your family, but for the rest of Storybrooke."

Belle's words seem to take effect as Bae's tears started to come out. She noticed that as well and held Bae's hand in hers. "I know it's a big responsibility for you but I believe you can do it. I know it must be hard for you to be responsible for your father's actions when you were only fourteen but you're not alone now. You have me and Henry and the rest of the Charming family to keep him in check. I'm sure Granny can help too."

He added, "Bae, don't blame yourself for what happened. I know you'll do that but don't. Even trusting Tamara is not your fault. I did the same with Cora even after I'd lived for more than 250 years. So don't blame yourself." He put his hand on top of Belle's and Bae's hands. "As Belle said, we'll be strong together."

Rumpelstiltskin heard some commotion outside and when he peeked out, he realized the Charmings plus Regina had arrived. They were talking to Whale. "I'll let Henry and Emma in to talk to you now."

He walked out and stared at Regina. "What are YOU doing here?"

"The Blue Fairy and all the other fairies are busy. Snow and Charming seem to think that I could be in danger since Tamara is still on the loose, which is silly of course, since I can defend myself better than them with my magic. They dragged me here so I wouldn't be alone. Do you think I want to be in the vicinity of your family?"

"YOU … " Belle shook her head so he stopped. However, his name wouldn't be Rumpelstiltskin if he didn't have the last words. He sneered. "You don't have it in you to say good things about other people so I would expect nothing less from you."

It was Regina's turn to glare. "Mom, that's OK," said Henry. "Grandpa is just stressed."

Snow White quickly handled the situation before it escalated. She dragged Charming into Bae's room. "Charming, let's talk to Neal."

Charming refused to budge. "I don't know him that well. I'm not even sure I like him after what he's done to Emma." That earned him death glares from both Snow and Rumpelstiltskin, so he stopped.

"It'll be interesting to see how those two talk to Bae," thought Rumpelstiltskin. "I hope they don't make his condition worse. I believe Snow will have common sense." He looked at Belle who simply nodded at him so he didn't protest when Snow and Charming walked into the room. That left him standing there awkwardly with Regina, Emma, and Henry. Whale had disappeared.

* * *

David hated the fact that Snow saw the good in everybody. He protested when they seemed to adopt Regina as part of the family despite the numerous evil deeds she'd done to them. That was the reason they had brought her to the hospital, to make her feel as part of the family. He was thankful that at least Snow had the good sense not to invite Regina into the room. He was sure even normal patients would fall into a coma listening to what Regina had to say.

He looked at Neal and felt his heart aching. Whatever he felt about the man, he could sympathize with him. After all, he had been in a coma for 28 years without anyone claiming to be his family, thanks to Regina. The problem was that he was a man of action, not words. He'd let Snow take the lead.

Snow sat next to Neal's bed. "Neal, we don't know each other that well although we've worked together to fight evil. You might have a bad first impression of Storybrooke. From what I've seen so far, you're a good man; a brave man who is willing to protect his family; someone who is also willing to forgive others for past wrongdoings. You were willing to protect your father who had abandoned you. Those are the qualities I appreciate in a person. Besides, Emma loves you so you must have a lot of other good qualities. My point is, we need more people like you. Emma and Henry need you. Your father needs you. The rest of Storybrooke community needs you. I know you're a fighter so you need to fight this and get better. I believe in you."

That seemed to help as Charming saw Neal's fingers start to twitch. It was a very quick movement but Snow noticed it as well and whispered to her husband. "Charming, you can do it. I also believe in you."

That gave him a boost of confidence. He cleared his throat and said, "Neal, similar to Snow, I don't know you that well personally. I agree that you are a fighter so you need to fight this. I don't know what was going on between you and Emma, but both of you are fighters. You can make it work. You know that's a big sacrifice for me as a father, to allow you to continue to have whatever relationship you have with Emma. Well, we'll talk about that when you're well. My point is, get well soon. My heart is breaking whenever I see Henry cry."

He didn't add that he'd hurt him if he hurt Emma. This was not the time.

Well, he hadn't awakened yet but perhaps Emma or Henry could finish the task. "Now we'll let Emma and Henry talk to you."

* * *

Meanwhile, outside the room, Emma could feel the tension between Gold and Regina. Thankfully, Belle was back so she didn't need to be the middle woman this time. She dragged Henry to sit on the chairs away from both Gold and Regina.

Henry promptly produced the _Once Upon a Time_ book from his backpack. Emma groaned. "Kid, do you have to take the book with you all the time?"

"Emma, this is important for Operation Phoenix."

"I thought our operation name was Operation Praying Mantis."

"That was when people didn't know Tamara was evil. Now everyone knows so the operation was successful."

"Henry, I think Neal disagreed with the conclusion of your operation." She might as well humor Henry. "So why Phoenix?"

Henry's eyes brightened which reminded her painfully of Neal's. "Well, a phoenix is a long-lived bird that can rise from the ashes and be reborn. Neal is Baelfire so he already has the fire element. When he recovers, he'll be much stronger than before, hence the name phoenix. We have this operation to help him to get well soon."

Emma had to admire Henry's abilities to come up with different operation names. "Well, at least this name is more appropriate than Praying Mantis." Henry smiled sweetly at her.

Looking at that smile, she was thankful that she had heeded Hook's warning and searched for Greg and Tamara at their hiding spot. They managed to catch Greg by shooting him in the leg when he tried to escape. After patching him up in the hospital, she had deposited Greg in the cell. Unfortunately, Tamara had escaped yet again. At least she didn't successfully shoot anyone (not for lack of trying) this time. Red helped to search for her but her scent had disappeared at the river so they hadn't caught her yet. Based on Greg's confession, it seemed that they really wanted to kidnap Henry, so despite her intense dislike of the captain and his constant loyalty flip-flopping, she owed him one. Now she just needed to protect Henry 24/7 until Tamara was caught. _Easy peasy_!

"Emma, did you hear what I just said?"

"Sorry, Henry, what was that?"

"I said we should read this book to Neal. It worked for grandpa Charming twice, once when he was in a coma and once when he was under the sleeping curse."

"Henry, I think it was your grandma's kiss that woke your grandpa up, remember? I was there." She remembered the awkward scene when her parents had made up for lost time in front of the dwarves and still hadn't finished after her conversation with Gold. "Besides, I think reading the book will make your father's condition worse."

Henry sulked. "Why?"

"Well, for a start. He escaped from the world described in the book. He nearly fell through a portal back to that world so I'm sure he won't like to be reminded of it, at least not while he's in this condition. Besides, he told me that he didn't have a fairytale childhood. We'd better stick to this world if you want to talk to him."

"But he used it to explain to Tamara about the Enchanted Forest."

"All the more reason not to use the book now."

"So what should I tell him then?"

"You tell him how much you love and need him. That usually does the trick as he genuinely loves you. He'll do anything for you."

Henry brightened at the prospect of that. "I can do it."

"I'm sure you can, kid."

At that time, her parents walked out from Neal's room. From their happy expressions, she guessed whatever they said apparently worked. Now it was hers and Henry's turn.

She stood up and offered her hand to Henry. He stood up and grabbed it. Emma loved the way his hand fit into hers. She realized that he was growing up so quickly that soon his hand wouldn't fit into hers anymore.

She could sense that Henry was nervous. She was nervous as well but she hid it better. After all, there was no other family members left so the responsibility lay with them.

Mary Margaret gave her a smile when she passed her and whispered, "Good luck!" Her father didn't say anything but just patted Henry's shoulder.

Emma had always disliked hospitals; the smell of disinfectants, the whiteness of the tiles and walls, the slow hum of different machines. They screamed desperation and loneliness. She was lucky she didn't need to visit hospitals very often. Until she moved to Storybrooke.

It was even worse when someone she knew was admitted in the hospital. She could never forget when she saw Henry lying helplessly hooked up to the IV. Now she felt like history was repeating itself. Neal looked just like Henry when he was asleep - naïve, innocent with his guard down. She realized that Neal put up his wall even higher than hers. After all, she had been the first one to admit her feelings, twice, under very different circumstances. She knew he had a fear of rejection and now she knew why. Ignoring all those machineries, he looked almost at peace. It was more likely that his nightmare hadn't kicked in.

Henry sat down next to his father and hugged him without disturbing any of the machines. That kid seemed to be a pro with such things. Emma wasn't sure if that was a good thing. She might as well keep the ball rolling.

"Neal, I swear to whoever the people in the Enchanted Forest believe in, you'd better wake up. Do you think I would just let you say 'I love you too' and leave it at that?" Henry was surprised to hear that, being news to him. "You said there wasn't one day you didn't regret having left me then you'd better keep your word. That will work better if you are actually awake. Not this escaping reality by staying asleep." Henry whispered, "Mom!" but she ignored it. She might've gone too far but she didn't believe in some sugar coated half-truths. The cynic in Neal might be the same.

It seemed to hit the mark as she saw tears leaking from Neal's eyes. "You may think that you can't face whatever reality you wake up in, but believe me, you can. I know you're stronger than that. Besides, we made a good team and I believe that we, including our parents and Henry, can get through this together. Otherwise, I'll go to whatever dream world you're in right now and drag your sorry self back here. You used to say I always find what I look for and believe me, I'll find a way. So you'd better come back here soon so I don't need to go through all the trouble." She remembered what Whale had said, about how the patient usually didn't remember what was being said, so she added more as a side thought, "Besides, despite my better judgment I still love you and I need you and Henry."

Neal's eyelids seemed to flutter but he hadn't opened them yet, so perhaps that was all her imagination. Emma noticed Henry was smiling. Of course Neal might not remember what she said but Henry definitely would. _Oh crap_.

"Dad, I know you can hear what all of us have said. I need you to stay with me. I know you're a good man. You don't have to be a hero. Just be my dad. I'd rather have a living father than a dead hero. So please return to us. Just be yourself. I know I've never called you Dad but I will now. I love you."

Suddenly, Neal opened his eyes and grabbed Henry's hand, surprising both Emma and Henry. He tried to say something but because he hadn't used his vocal cords or drank for days, it was a big effort. "Hen… henry, I'll… be he…re," he finally managed to say. It seemed he had used all his strength. so His eyes closed again and his hand fell back to the bed.

Emma quickly called Dr. Whale to check on his condition.

* * *

**Notes:**

-*duck behind Anton* Sorry to use a-sort-of-coma-but-not-really trope. I think this chapter will be the most melodramatic compared to later chapters.

-As you know this is not very medically accurate, but if Hook could run around after Rumpel cut his hand and with broken ribs, other medically impossible things could happen.

-Sorry to have some of the actions off screen. I don't plan to write a novel. There will be some actions later.

-Next chapter: the PTSD starts to kick in.

-Please let me know what you think or if you spot any mistakes. *still hide behind Anton*


	4. The Nightmare

_Warning: Mention of blood and canonical violence._

Thanks to the awesome RainMirror for betaing this chapter for me!

* * *

She wouldn't listen to his apology. She picked up the pace along the beach and he needed to jog to keep up with her.

"Emma, could you please at least give me five minutes of your time?"

"You had eleven years, Neal. Why didn't you?"

"Emma, I know whatever I say won't make up for what I did. Could you at least hear my explanation?"

She turned around to face him. "OK, five minutes then we're going separate ways."

He was about to say something when suddenly, a dark skinned woman in a track suit ran next to his side. "I'm sorry Neal," she said. "You gave me no choice." She produced a gun and promptly shot him in the chest.

Emma was shocked. She was about to attack, but the woman suddenly produced a magic bean. She threw it at Emma's feet then quickly left.

Emma was backing away but the portal opened up so swiftly that she fell. He managed to catch her hands and felt himself being pulled down. Suddenly his father materialized out of nowhere and held his right hand and began to pull him up. He used his left hand to pull Emma.

However, the pull of the portal was too strong and he was getting weaker with his injury. His father didn't have enough strength to pull him up. He was too weak to hold on to both ends. Emma slipped through his hand while his father's hold on him also loosened. Both Emma and he fell through the portal.

He screamed and opened his eyes. _It was only a dream._ _It's too much. He has to get out of here! _He tried to get up. He then realized his hands and feet were restrained and he was hooked to the IVs and some other machinery. His father looked pleadingly at his side._ He doesn't understand._

"Bae, please don't scream and struggle, trust me on that."

He tried to yell and realized that his throat was too dry. After a while, he managed to say, "Get away from me!"

_Where is he? What's going on? If he's injured, is his dream real?_ But it couldn't be because his father was here. _Where is here?_ It didn't look like a hospital in New York, less bustling. _Has his father managed to get a hold of him via magic?_ He had to get out of here. He started to yank at his restraints. At the corner of his eyes, he saw the nurses outside had started to notice his struggle and whispered among themselves.

His father continued sadly, "Bae, trust me on this. Don't struggle."

He tried really hard to speak. "Are you behind all this?"

"No, Bae. I wasn't. What do you remember last?"

He tried to think and realized that his mind was too foggy. Some images popped up in his mind. "Manhattan …, my apartment…, you got injured …, Hook…, Henry …, Emma … then nothing else. You have to let me go."

He yanked again. "I'm afraid it's not within my power," his father said sadly. He then saw two of the nurses coming over with a syringe. He felt like this had happened before._ Is this déjà vu?_

"No, no syringe," he yelled.

The nurses looked at him in pity. He hated that. "I'm sorry, Mr. Cassidy, it's for your own good before you hurt yourself," said one of the nurses before plunging the needle into his vein.

His father looked away with regret etched on his face.

He was certain this had happened before but he couldn't know for sure. The drug must have messed with his memory, otherwise why couldn't he remember anything? He struggled to stay awake but it was a losing battle. The last thought he had before falling asleep was he was going to have the same nightmare again.

* * *

Rumpelstiltskin was in tears. They treated his son like a mental patient in an asylum. He thought the "coma" would be the worst that could happen, but he was very much mistaken. Henry had awoken him two days ago but he fell unconscious again. The next time he woke up was with a scream. It didn't help when his son saw him there. He asked him to get away from him and ripped the IV drips apart trying to run. That resulted in a lot of blood gushing out and spurting everywhere. He didn't have enough strength. When his feet touched the floor, he toppled. Rumpelstiltskin managed to catch him but he couldn't hold him with his limp. Luckily, the nurses came in and immediately injected him with a tranquilizer and put him to bed. Since Bae was actually suffering from severe anemia because of the gunshot wound, he needed another blood transfusion.

The second time he woke up screaming, he saw Emma. He looked dejected and said he was sorry for everything and tried to run away again. The nurses were quicker this time. Before the drips were completely ripped, they injected him again. There was still some bleeding involved. Since then, they had taken the precaution by restraining his hands and feet before he harmed himself.

This had been the fifth time since recovering from his "coma" that Bae had woken up with nightmares and tried to run. The slightly calming factor for him seemed to be Henry, but they still needed to sedate him because the nightmares seemed so horrible that he felt the need to escape from them immediately. They hadn't managed to ask him about the nightmares because he was too scared and disoriented about his surroundings. He didn't seem to recognize anyone besides him, Emma and Henry. Strangers had more neutral effects on Bae as compared to him and Emma.

This time he had managed to get an answer out of Bae. He didn't even seem to remember coming to Storybrooke at all!

Rumpelstiltskin saw that at least Bae could sleep peacefully for a few hours before the nightmare. He needed to talk to Whale immediately. He wished Belle was here but she had been having a few late nights accompanying him. He had ordered her to take a rest.

He found Whale taking a nap in his office with his door ajar. He knocked and Whale quickly woke up and tried to straighten his coat. He must be used to intermittent sleep as he got into focus so quickly after waking up. When he looked up and saw it was Rumpelstiltskin, he looked wary but quickly hid it.

"Please sit down. What happened?"

"How did you know that something happened?

"Well, you look frazzled. Did he wake up from a nightmare again?"

"Yes, still the same case. However, he managed to answer something. He didn't seem to remember coming to Storybrooke."

"I think now I know what happened to your son. I believe he suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder or PTSD."

"I thought that only happened to soldiers."

"That's a common misconception. Victims of abuse, betrayal and violence often have the symptoms as well. Was your son a victim of one of them?" He looked thoughtful. "I guess getting shot alone may have triggered it."

Rumpelstiltskin felt horrible. He had contributed to some of his son's traumas. "I guess he viewed me abandoning him at the portal as a betrayal. His ex-fiancée shooting him must be another huge betrayal." He realized that he didn't know much about Bae's life after he left the Enchanted Forest. He felt like the worst father.

Whale knotted his fingers together and propped it under his chin. "That much I have guessed. He does have the symptoms of PTSD with the nightmares, tendency to get frightened or violent, and now you have confirmed that he has altered memory and selective amnesia. "

Rumpelstiltskin looked disturbed. "How do we cure that?"

"I don't think there is a quick cure. He needs long-term treatment. I suggest sessions with Dr. Hopper."

"Can't I just remove the nightmares?"

"I think the nightmares are the symptoms, not the cause. If you remove them, some new ones may materialize. "

"How about removing all bad memories?"

"The human mind is very complex. We can't be certain which memories cause the nightmare. Some bad memories may be needed for us to function."

Rumpelstiltskin regretted not trying to talk to Bae. They had a semi-conciliation at his death bed after his conversation with Belle. However since he recovered, he had been too afraid to reach out to his son. He was afraid of rejection after 300 years of waiting. Now it seemed it was too late. Something puzzled him. "Why can't he remember that he has woken up a few times before and tried to escape? If he remembered, he would have learned the lesson."

Whale looked sheepish. "I'm afraid it might be the side effect of the tranquilizers." When he found that Rumpelstiltskin was glaring at him, he quickly added, "The drug was necessary because otherwise he would have bled to death. Well, if you have a similar potion to sedate him without any side effects, you're welcome to try it."

Rumpelstiltskin nodded grimly. "I may have something."

"Doesn't your magic come with a price?"

"I'm willing to pay the price if that means Bae will recover. I can make potions for dreamless sleep."

"As much as I'd like you to try that, your son at least needs to remember his nightmares so that Dr. Hopper can help him interpret the meaning."

Rumpelstiltskin was exasperated. "You are so full of rules. How can he have a consultation with Dr. Hopper when he can't hold a normal conversation with anyone?"

"I feel terrible to ask this, but do you have any potion or magic to calm someone? At least to remove his will to escape so we don't need the restraints. I'm afraid modern medicine has no such thing without any side effects or risks."

Rumpelstiltskin sneered. "Isn't that the same as removing the symptom and not the cause, like you talked about?"

Whale looked properly chastised. "Yes, I know. At least for the first few times when he wakes up, he needs that. After he gets used to the idea of not running away, you can just abandon the potions or magic as he will be more adjusted."

"In that case, I may have something."

Whale nodded. "One more thing. When he wakes up, at least for the first time, it would be best if he's with someone with a calming effect. So perhaps Henry and someone neutral to him like … Mary Margaret." Rumpelstiltskin understood Whale's hesitation before mentioning the name. The last people his son apparently wanted to see were him and Emma.

He and Whale then made the necessary arrangements.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

-I didn't make up the symptoms of PTSD and the effect of ripping IV. Some artistic license was taken for the manifestation.

-I think their treatment of "mental" patients in the show is terrible. I felt sorry for Belle in _Tiny_.

-Thoughts? Constructive criticisms?


	5. The Temporary Reprieve

Thanks for the people reviewing the last chapter as I wasn't sure whether I went to the right direction.

Thanks to the awesome RainMirror for betaing this chapter for me!

I planned to write more fluff for this chapter but the result was a bit more angsty. At least it's more positive than the previous chapters.

* * *

_She wouldn't listen to his apology. She picked up the pace along the beach and he needed to jog to keep up with her._

"Neal, wake up! Wake up!"

_"Emma, could you please at least give me five minutes of your time?"_

"Neal, you need to wake up now!"

He felt the insistent tugging at his hand. So it had only been a dream. However, he wanted to know what Emma's answer was going to be. He felt disoriented. _When did he fall asleep?_

He opened his eyes to see Henry pulling his left elbow insistently. He was accompanied by a beautiful brunette with short pixie hair.

"Hen..Henry?" His throat felt extremely dry.

The woman offered him a glass of water with a straw. "Drink this, but slowly."

He picked it up and felt that the glass was heavy. _How long has he been out?_

He drank a bit and felt a bit relieved. He tried not to gulp it down too much. Neverland had taught him that.

"Where am I? Why am I here? Who're you?"

He saw that the woman was shocked but quickly hid it. "My name is Mary Margaret and I'm Henry's teacher. You're in the Storybrooke General Hospital. There had been an incident."

He was stunned with the word Storybrooke. He thought, "It's not the job of a teacher to accompany a student during a hospital visit."

"Henry, where is Emma?" he asked. "Why am I in Storybrooke? What incident?"

Mary Margaret seemed saddened by his questions._ She must be a very dedicated teacher_. She answered, "So you really don't remember."

He shook his head. The movement actually induced dizziness but he'd manage.

"What was the last thing you remembered?"

"My father and Emma together with Henry came to look for me!" He smiled at Henry when he mentioned his name. Henry smiled back. "Henry and I went out for pizza. We came back. Henry wanted to go to the museum. I went up with Henry to get my camera. I heard some commotion downstairs. When I came down, I saw my father lying on the floor while Hook lay next to him, courtesy of Emma." Mary Margaret smiled at the mention of Emma. _What's her relationship to Emma?_ "I was shocked to see Papa with so much blood." He tried to think more but nothing came out. In fact, he started to get a headache when he tried to think. "Sorry, I don't remember what happened next."

"Do you remember coming to Storybrooke using the Jolly Roger? About the battle with Cora?"

He suddenly had rapid flash images. They came and went swiftly. He had a full-on headache now. He tried to hold his head then realized he was hooked to the IVs._ OK, this is really serious._

Mary Margaret noticed his discomfort. "You don't need to force yourself if you don't remember."

"No, no, I had some flashbacks when you mentioned those events. I recalled steering the wheel of a ship with Henry and standing side by side with you, Emma, and a tall blond guy holding a sword while two women threw fireballs in our direction. I failed to see when these happened and how they were connected. Are you connected to Emma by any chance?"

Mary Margaret seemed a bit relieved. "Yes, I'm Snow White, Emma's mother. You can call me Mary Margaret or Snow. The blond guy is her father, I call him Prince Charming. The two women were Regina and her mother, Cora."

Neal paled. "I'm so.. so sorry, I didn't mean to leave Emma but… but she needed to break the curse cast by my father. I'm so sorry, I shouldn't …" He eyed the IVs. His first instinct was to get away from here and thought of a more appropriate response to Emma's mother when he felt himself ready. However, he felt like something had overridden his instinct, something that said everything was going to be OK, he didn't need to run. He wasn't sure what to do anymore. "I.. I didn't mean to.. it was a mistake…I'm sorry, Henry… I'm not like my father …" He felt tears coming out of his eyes uncontrollably. He shouldn't cry in front of Emma's mother, Princess Snow White. Despite his tears, he felt like laughing over that fact.

Henry hugged him. "It's OK, Neal, we know that. You need to rest to recuperate." Neal felt some of the pressure ease with the hug. He hugged him back carefully so as not to displace the IVs.

Mary Margaret got worried when she caught him eying the IVs. She squeezed his hand. "Neal, it's not the time to discuss the past. As Henry said, you need to reserve your strength. You seem to remember something so I guess it's a good sign."

"May I know how I ended up in a hospital? Was it because of Cora or Regina?" Henry still hugged him but he felt Henry twitch at the mention of Regina.

"It's a long story, but you got shot."

He laughed bitterly amidst the tears which hadn't stopped. "I guess that explains the pain in my chest. So, I'm in a hospital not because of magic. That's a first. Who shot me then?"

Mary Margaret, no, Snow White, looked disturbed. Henry buried his face in his shoulder. _Something is amiss._

"If you don't remember, perhaps it's for the best," she answered. "We can discuss this later. I prepared some soup for you. Have a good rest."

He didn't like the feeling of not knowing. He yelled, "Who shot me?" He didn't care if the whole hospital heard him. "Henry, who shot me?"

Henry looked up and hesitated. He pleaded with Henry with his eyes until his son finally relented. "I'm so sorry, Neal. It was Tamara, your ex-fiancée."

He felt the rug getting pulled out from under him. It was a good thing he had been lying down. Nothing made sense anymore. "Why would I have a fiancée? But Emma…" He then remembered who was in the room with him. "Why did she shoot me? Why can't I remember her?"

Snow was also in tears now. She sat down and squeezed his hand more tightly. "I feel for you. You got betrayed by someone you thought loved you. I know the feeling. Perhaps that's the reason you don't remember."

He then remembered his father letting go of his hand over the portal, then Hook selling him to the Lost Boys. He still couldn't recall this Tamara, but perhaps it was for the best for now. Then he remembered abandoning Emma and sobbed even harder. Even Henry had joined them in sobbing. Now he had initiated a group sobbing. _That's just great. What a great influence __I am in__ Storybrooke__._

"I'm sorry again about Emma," he managed to say after collecting himself. "I really shouldn't have left her."

"You should say sorry to her first, not to me," Snow insisted. "Everyone makes mistakes."

No wonder she was called the fairest of them all. "Why did she shoot me?"

"You were helping Emma in rescuing Regina."

"Do you mean the woman who tried to throw fireballs at us? Why?"

Snow White had stopped crying. She wiped away her tears and smiled. "As I said, it's a long story."

"So the reason Tamara shot me was nothing personal."

"No, it wasn't. You were just in the way. We'd like to tell you more but you need to rest."

He had finally managed to control his emotions. "I'm not sure whether that makes me feel better, but thanks for being frank." He rubbed Henry's hair. "I'm sorry, buddy, you've gone through so much."

Henry had stopped crying as well. "That's OK, Neal. It's not your fault."

He suddenly felt very tired. "I'm not too sure about that. All of you would still be in the Enchanted Forest if I hadn't fallen though that portal." He looked at Snow White. "And you wouldn't have been separated from Emma."

Snow said, "Don't go there! I have tried to play this blame game with Emma and it just gave us more heartache."

He gave her a bitter smile. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Neal, I'm being serious," she said.

He replied as sincere as his heavy heart could muster. "I know. I'll try."

"I hate to tell you this since you don't remember. You've been having a lot of nightmares the last few days and you haven't reacted well. The surgeon treating you, Dr. Whale, said that you might want to talk to Storybrooke's psychiatrist, Dr. Hopper."

He needed to joke to lighten the moment. "Great, so not only am I going senile for not remembering my nightmares, I used to remember them vividly, but now I'm going insane too."

Snow bit her lower lip; a sign Neal interpreted as unsure what to say next. "Don't worry about not remembering. I think your medication affects your memory. And you're not going insane. Dr. Hopper can help you deal with your er… memory loss. I mean the ones not nightmare related."

"OK, I'll talk to him." There was definitely something amiss but whatever it was, they were hiding it. He then remembered. "Where is my father? Where is Emma? I thought at least my father would be here."

He saw that Henry and his … grandma looked at each other. Something was definitely amiss. After a few tense seconds, Snow said, "Whenever you woke up from your nightmares, you didn't react well in the presence of your father or Emma. We decided it's best for you not to see them first."

"What did I do?"

"You ripped out your IVs and tried to run. The result was not pretty."

"I'm sorry to put you all through this. I'll stay here when I have my nightmares again."

"Stop saying sorry, Neal," Snow admonished him. "It's the effect of your nightmare."

"It's funny I don't recall even my most recent nightmare."

"It's the medication. Henry woke you up when you started to twitch so you haven't had your nightmare yet."

He became suspicious. "How do you know the exact time I'm going to have the nightmare?"

Snow exchanged glances with Henry. "Dr. Whale invented a medicine which could control the time you went into a dream. Don't worry about it. You just need to rest for now and tomorrow Dr. Hopper will come to see you. Henry, we need to go. You need to go to school tomorrow."

"I guess I don't have a say in this since I'm stuck here. I could use some reading material until tomorrow."

Henry produced a stack of comic books from his backpack. "I hope you like the Hulk. I also have some of Iron Man and Captain America. Sorry, this is all I have to read, unless you want my text books or the fairy tale book."

He became agitated at the mention of the book but hid it quickly. "Superheroes are fine, in fact they were my favorites when I came to this world. I actually don't mind some text books since I didn't go to school." He shouldn't be bitter about it. People in the Enchanted Forest mostly got home schooling.

Snow added, "Unless you want Emma's or my novels?"

He remembered that Emma liked to read contemporary novels where the main character is a heroine who liked to fend for herself. However, those kinds of novels were hard to obtain because the convenience or drug stores usually sold the cheap romance novels which Emma despised. Too many memories. "As tempting as that is, I'll give the novels a pass for now." He suddenly remembered that he still hadn't apologized to Emma. "Could I talk to Emma?"

Snow avoided eye contact with him. "Yes, as soon as she's available."

"One more thing. What happened to Tamara?"

Snow wrought her hands. "I'm sorry Neal. She's still on the loose. Emma's been busy tracking her."

"That's OK, I guess. I can't get upset over something I don't remember. As you said, that's for the best."

Henry produced a sketchbook and pencils out of his backpack. "Neal, you said you liked to draw so perhaps you can draw if you get bored with reading. I bought this for you."

He felt overwhelmed. Henry was too good for him. He felt his eyes start to water again. "Thanks, buddy."

"Come on, Henry, your father needs to rest. We'll come over to visit again tomorrow. And Neal, don't run away from your nightmares. You're stronger than that."

"I'll try."

After Henry and Snow left, he started to sketch. There was a lot to think about; his memory loss, his nightmare, Snow and Henry's reactions. He couldn't make heads or tails of them. He was worried about the nightmare as it was apparently worse than what he had before. He would try to stay awake until he met Dr. Hopper tomorrow if he could. He felt it was a losing battle as he grew very weary.

* * *

**Note:**

-In case it wasn't clear, Neal hadn't had the nightmare that he could recall in this chapter as Gold had timed it well. Henry woke him up before that.

-Please let me know whether the story is too slow, too angsty, too melodramatic, or something so I could tweak it. Also if you spot any mistakes.


	6. The Consultation

Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favs!

Thanks to the awesome RainMirror to beta read this chapter for me!

**Warning:** Mention of self harm but nothing graphic.

* * *

Archie tried not to have expectations when he was about to meet his clients for the first time. Despite the fact that his profession couldn't afford the luxury of preconception, he felt a little apprehensive meeting the son of the Dark One for the first time. Rumpelstiltskin came to him once for consultation when Archie still had his cursed memory. He might have rejected Rumpelstiltskin if he had known his true identity. That action also landed him into trouble because Hook thought he knew some of the Dark One's secrets. On the other hand, his curiosity was also piqued. From what he had heard so far, Neal seemed to be a very interesting character. He was quite different from his father, at least in term of using magic and attacking people.

He peeked inside his room and was surprised by what he saw. His patient was trying to focus on drawing while fighting a losing battle against fatigue. Whenever he was about to nod off, he would pinch or stab himself using a pencil and would continue drawing. This had been going on for around ten minutes.

He knocked softly and Neal jumped at the sound. "May I come in? I believe you have an appointment with me today."

"Please do. I guess talking will be better than anything else I've tried. I'm trying to stay awake."

As he walked in, the psychiatrist noticed a dream catcher hanging at the top of the IV pole. He also noticed a barely eaten bowl of soup, plus some other uneaten hospital food. Archie sat on one of the two chairs next to the bed. He just realized that Neal was drawing Henry in different settings. On one page Henry was in Granny's, on another he was in the park. Archie guessed he must have some memories to be able to draw different locations in Storybrooke.

He then noticed how gaunt and pale Neal looked. Being unconscious and not eating would do that to a person. He noticed the dark circles under his eyes and puncture marks on his arms. He remembered Rumpelstiltskin's stories about his attempts to escape. Not to mention the marks for replacing the IVs and blood transfusion. This was a totally different persona from what he expected from the son of the Dark One.

"Are you done psychoanalyzing me? What is your recommendation? Strait jackets or lobotomy?"

Archie blushed. He didn't realize that he had been staring at him for so long. "Sorry, I'm not used to those." He pointed at his marks.

"Ah, these. I'm not used to them either but, then again, the Enchanted Forest and Neverland didn't use needles. What kind of psychiatrist are you to not be used to these things?"

"I've actually never recommended using needles for my treatments."

"Here I thought you were going to give me some good stuff so I won't have nightmares anymore."

"Well, I didn't say that I don't give medicine. By the way, you don't have to joke around me. Just be yourself."

"What else have I got, Doc, if not my humor? I don't remember an important chunk of my life, including having an ex-fiancée. Someone sane would have noticed such a thing. I think the only family who wants me is Henry. I'm not sure if I can face my father or Emma. Oh, not to mention I don't have enough strength to get up without help. If you know of anything good going my way, feel free to let me know."

Archie saw him blink back the tears that threatened to come out by rubbing his eyes with his sleeves. "It's OK to let everything out rather than bottling it up inside."

"I don't want your pity. I don't even want to wallow in self pity but I can't help it."

"It's OK to wallow in self pity occasionally. Don't judge yourself too much!"

"Sorry, who are you anyway?"

"I'm Dr. Archie Hopper, I thought you knew."

"No, I meant who were you back there?"

So he really didn't remember anything. Emma had told him that Tamara had a list of some of the Enchanted Forest inhabitants and his name was on it. Neal had made it for her. But now, he asked about his identity. "I'm Jiminy Cricket."

He let out a bitter laugh. "The conscience thing. I guess I'm not conscientious enough so I end up getting shot."

"No, my profession here isn't directly related to my identity there. The cricket advised people. Here, I need to be impartial. Don't blame yourself for getting shot! Robberies and violence happen every day and most of the time it's not the victim's fault."

"How could I not? I don't remember what happened. You'd think that I wouldn't miss such important details but my memory fails me. By the way, why should I tell you all this? I won't even see a therapist in New York even though I have a lot of issues."

"If you want your memory back, you need to work with me." He was not going to say that the reason he saw him was not because of memory loss as it would put too much pressure on the patient. At least not at the start. He smiled to ease the tension. "Well, here you can at least tell me everything about the Enchanted Forest. Can you do that in New York?"

"I think you have a point there. They'd send me straight to the asylum if I told them the truth. So what should we do to retrieve my memory?"

"Easy there. How about I get to know you first to see which method is more suitable. Which one do you prefer to be called, Neal or Baelfire?"

"Does it matter, Doc? May I call you Doc? Or Archie? Or Dr. Hopper? Neither Neal nor Baelfire gives me any luck so it doesn't matter."

"You can call me Archie. I just want to call you the name you are comfortable with. What is it about your luck?"

He seemed to mull it over. "I think Neal is fine. The two best things I had in my life, meeting Emma and having Henry, was when I used Neal. Not so much luck though, since I left them. However, I got into more trouble using Baelfire. Do you really want me to start about luck? We'll be here more than a day. I think most of it was my fault though. "

"I'm not sure I understand. Could you elaborate?"

"As Baelfire, my mother left me, most likely because I was not a good enough son for her. My father got cursed to be the Dark One to protect me. That resulted in a lot of people getting killed because he wanted to protect me. If…"

"I'm sorry, I need to interrupt. You couldn't possibly know that. You're not responsible for other people's choices."

"If I didn't fall through that portal, my father wouldn't have created the curse. The people in the Enchanted Forest would still have their old lives. I'm at least responsible for THAT."

"No, you're not. It was your father's choice to create the curse."

"I haven't finished. My father manipulated Regina's life so that she would cast the curse. He gave magic to Cora and Regina. Countless people have been hurt because of that."

Archie decided not to argue with a patient when he or she was being stubborn. He seemed to possess a lot of latent guilt which resurfaced because of the shooting. There was not much to do for now except to let him pour it all out.

"You're not responsible for the actions of your parents, Cora or Regina. I hope you know that."

"Well, logically I get what you mean but somehow I still feel morally responsible. Now this is what I'm definitely responsible for; leaving Emma so that she could fulfill her role to break the curse. What kind of boyfriend does that? I didn't even know she was pregnant." He was unable to contain his emotion any longer. Tears were pouring out.

Archie noticed the fatigue take over as Neal started to doze off. He would continue the session next time then. There was no need to force him.

He was about to leave when Neal suddenly yelled, "No!"

His patient seemed to realize where he was and his interrupted session with Archie. "Please don't go! I'm sorry that I fell asleep. I woke up as soon I realized that."

"I think you need to rest to speed up your recovery. We can continue this tomorrow or whenever you're ready. When was the last time you slept?"

"No, you don't understand. I don't want to sleep. I've slept enough. I was told that I was unconscious for a few days."

"Is this because of your nightmares?"

He seemed to be embarrassed about it. "Oh, so you know about that."

"Do you want talk about it?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Well, you don't have to but it helps to at least reduce your burden."

"OK, Dr. Phil. I thought my previous nightmare was bad, but this one was surprisingly much worse. I have fallen asleep three times since I talked to Snow White and Henry yesterday and I keep having the same nightmare."

He then described his nightmare. It was about Emma who didn't want to hear his explanation. An unknown woman shot him and threw a portal bean at Emma's feet. He was unable to save her, the same way his father had failed to save him. Both he and Emma fell through the portal.

Archie had talked to Emma and Rumpelstiltskin. He noted that Neal got half his facts right. That was understandable because he was feeling some guilt that he couldn't face yet, especially about Tamara, and abandoning Emma. He represented the guilt through releasing his hold of her over the portal. He was still in shock over falling through another portal so his mind tricked him in believing Emma was the one falling down. He also hadn't gotten over the fact that his father had abandoned him. Those were some serious issues he needed to address.

"So what do you think? How crazy is my nightmare? I know the getting shot part was true since I'm here but I just don't know about the rest of it. How likely is it for me to fall through another portal again?" He chuckled without humor at the last statement. "I'm here so I don't think the portal part is true."

Archie decided not to tell him the truth just yet. His mind had suppressed it for a reason.

"We can work on your memory later. You said you had a different nightmare previously. Could you tell me that?"

"Way to go, Archie. Just go to the part in my life that I avoid the most. I don't think this dream catcher does its job. I didn't even notice its presence until today. Emma or my father must have dropped it here when I was asleep. They're avoiding me."

He then recounted his previous nightmare; how he had asked the Blue Fairy for help so that his father wouldn't be cursed; how he made a deal with his father; how his father didn't honor the deal and chose power over him.

Archie noticed that betrayal, abandonment and portals seem to be the common theme in his nightmares. Based on the facts he knew so far, he wasn't surprised that Neal ended up with such nightmares.

"You can see that portals and I don't have the best relationship. I wonder why my mind would create another nightmare involving one."

Archie needed to bite his tongue to stop from telling him the truth. Recalling his nightmares had taken its toll as Neal looked haggard and was barely able to keep his eyes open.

"I think you need to rest. I can come back again tomorrow."

Neal forced his eyes to open. "You told me there was a way to get my memory back. What are your methods?"

"I think hypnosis is the most common method. I have had success with that."

"Really? Who has lost his memory in Storybrooke?"

"Actually it was Emma's father, David."

"Don't you mean Charming? At least that is what Snow told me."

"He has a few names. Not important for now. The point is, he could recall his past with Snow under hypnosis. We could try that with you."

"I'm so looking forward to recalling my time over the portal," he said sarcastically. "Isn't that what shrinks do? Force the patients to face their most traumatic experience."

"Well, we just want to restore your memory so we could start with something happier, like your time with Henry here."

"Henry," he said wistfully. "I can start with that. Should we start now? I'm ready."

"I don't think you're in any condition to be under hypnosis now. You need to have enough rest."

"No, I'm good. Let's do this." Neal tried to sit up but failed as he didn't have much strength.

Archie decided to use a diversion tactic because it was really dangerous to conduct hypnosis when the patient was not ready physically and mentally. "OK, we could. I keep wondering though. You mentioned Neverland but you were supposed to go to the land without magic. Could you elaborate more on that first?" Archie recalled that even Emma and Rumpelstiltskin didn't know the details of Neal's life in between the time he fell through the portal to when he met Emma. How he spent those years was an important deciding factor for the therapy.

"Wow, you really want to learn all my dirty painful secrets. Is that really necessary?"

"Your past experiences help to form the person you are now. They may also help you to recall your memory."

That seemed to motivate Neal since he was determined to have his memory back.

He then told of his life in Victorian London for six months before being adopted by the Darlings. He was halfway through telling how he ended up on the Jolly Roger in Neverland with Hook when he fell asleep.

Archie adjusted his blanket and waited for ten minutes. Since it looked like Neal would stay asleep, he left. He already had a lot to go on. He needed to discuss the best solution with Rumpelstiltskin and perhaps Emma too.

* * *

**Notes:**

-Since canon!Neal recovered remarkably fast without any after effect (that we know of), I think I need to speed up the completion of this story. I'll try to find a way to make it more realistic so it will still take a few more chapters.

-We'lll take a rest from the hospital in the next chapter and see about the Charmings and Rumbelle.

-What is the best punishment for Greg? I have some ideas but I'm welcome to suggestion as long as it's not killing him. I think what they did in the show was a bit too harsh for Greg even though I'm not his fan.


	7. The Talks

Thanks for the reviews, favs, and alerts!

Thanks to the awesome RainMirror to beta this chapter for me!

* * *

Emma opened the loft door to be greeted by the smell of Snow's cooking. Roasted chicken with root vegetables.

"Hmm, it smells nice. Can we eat now?" She still needed to adjust to the idea that she had a home to go back to and parents who loved her.

"Not for another half an hour."

Henry looked up from his homework and ran to hug her. He seemed to like to hug more since Neal came to Storybrooke. "Emma, you're home early. How was it?"

It referred to how to handle Greg. They had discussed it for days. It was hard since they didn't want to kill or transfigure him into something, as was suggested by Gold. They couldn't lock him up in a cell forever either. Surprisingly, it was Regina who came up with a solution.

Emma sat next to Henry. "It's solved now. Greg has left Storybrooke. I dropped him into a deserted park in the next town. When he wakes up, he will forget about the existence of magic and Storybrooke."

David came out of the bathroom and sat opposite Henry. "Wouldn't it be strange for him to have nothing to remember for the last 29 years?"

"Don't worry. Regina has planted false memories. She should be an expert by now since she had a lot of practice with all the Storybrooke residents."

"Is it safe?" David still felt uncomfortable since he had been in a coma for 28 years and had false memories for a few months afterward.

"Do you mean for Greg or for us?"

"Both."

"Since he doesn't remember anything about Storybrooke, we're safe. He'll be fine. After all, nobody really got hurt with Regina's false memories."

"I think the residents may argue with you about that but I get your point. So Regina really helped."

"Yes, she did. She felt bad after what she did to his father. Do you think I have the power to perform such magic? Personally, I'd ask Whale whether he has any memory-altering-drug."

Henry perked up at the mention of Regina. "You see, my mom _is_ capable of changing if she is given the chance."

"_Henry is __Regina's__ biggest and only cheerleader_," Emma thought. She rubbed Henry's hair. "I know Henry, I know."

David looked a bit uncomfortable with Henry's blind faith in Regina. "Any other news?"

"Do you mean Tamara? You don't need to speak in codes in front of me," Henry answered.

David was shocked. "Henry, how do you know about Tamara?"

"Emma has promised me that there won't be any secrets between us. She told me how Greg and Tamara planned to kidnap me. I'll always be supervised by an adult as long as Tamara is free, so you guys don't need to worry."

David looked at Emma questioningly. Emma just shrugged. "Well, I believe it's better to be prepared and it's not good to keep secrets."

"Well, I can't exactly give any parental advice as we're also very new in parenting. So there is still no trace of Tamara?"

"Unfortunately, no. I've asked Ruby to trace her scent but she came up empty. She said if someone used Wolfsbane then she wouldn't be able to detect the scent."

"So basically she could be anywhere."

"Yes," Emma answered grimly. She still remembered how Tamara shot Neal, who apparently didn't remember even that part. She needed to stop her train of thought now. "We just need to be extra careful since we don't know who else is working with her. Luckily, Gold's cloaking spell has been implemented, so we shouldn't have to worry too much about newcomers."

"Henry, how about we practice sword play every day after school?"

"OK, Gramps."

"Do your homework, Henry."

"OK, Emma."

"David, could we talk for a second, somewhere more private?"

They went to the corner near David's bed, away from Henry's ears. "David, not that I don't appreciate what you do but how useful is it to go against the Home Office using a sword?"

"I know , Emma. I just need an excuse to give him extra protection after school. He loves sword practice. I think he also misses his dad and swordplay reminds him of Neal." Emma's heart ached at the comment. "Besides, the sword play gives him extra confidence and who knows? It may come in handy sometime."

"In that case, thanks."

"Anything for you, my …" David decided not to add the word princess as he knew Emma was sensitive that word. "Emma."

Emma raised her eyebrows, "Seriously? My Emma?"

"If you have a better suggestion, you let me know."

They both saw a flash and turned toward Snow who had somehow managed to sneak near them and take a picture. Her years of becoming a bandit had really paid off.

"Mary Margaret, what're you doing?" Emma asked.

"Oh, nothing. I rarely see you two talk. This is a rare opportunity."

Emma felt her heart warm up with the thought of her first picture with her dad. "But we talk all the time in the Sheriff's office."

"Yes, mostly about work but this is something else."

Henry came over to join them. Snow said, "How about a group picture?"

"Can we eat first? I'm famished."

"No, Emma, it'll be quick."

Five minutes later, they had taken different pictures with different combinations of family members. The final three pictures were taken using a timer so they could all be in them.

"That was fun," Snow concluded. "We should do it more often."

"Yes, it was, Gram. Next time we should ask Neal, Belle and Mr. Gold, plus Regina."

Snow smiled at Henry's optimism. "Sure, Henry. When they can all stand to be in the same room with each other for more than five minutes, we can take a family picture."

David whispered in Snow's ear, "At least it'll only be group pictures. Not Thanksgiving, so no knives will be involved."

Snow swiped at him playfully. "Oh Charming, you're so bad. I think we can smooth out our family problems eventually."

"I doubt it'll be within this century. That's what I like about you, Snow, your eternal optimism."

"Is that the only thing you like?" Snow put her hands on her hip. "You're in so much trouble now, Mister."

Henry grinned from ear to ear seeing his grandparents behave like hormonal teenagers. Emma was also happy for her parents.

"When are you going to talk to Neal next?" Henry asked.

Emma was taken by surprise by Henry's sudden question. "Honestly, I don't know Henry. He did ask about me and Gold when he talked to Archie this morning."

"Does it mean he'll be OK to see you now?"

"I don't know, kid. Anything can happen. Let's eat first, OK."

David helped Snow prepare the table.

Henry opened his phone and showed Emma some pictures. "Archie forwarded some of these to me. Look at what Neal drew. It's me. He's really good."

"They're indeed very good." That reminded Emma of Neal drawing her portrait back in Portland.

"Don't you see that these are in Storybrooke? That means there is hope his memory will recover."

Emma looked at the pictures closely. Those were indeed in Storybrooke. "There was never any doubt that he won't remember, Henry. The problem is how to deal with his nightmares."

"_And the feeling of being betrayed_," Emma continued internally.

Snow noticed Emma getting tense and Henry looked disappointed. "Shall we start eating now?"

* * *

After dinner and cleaning up, David offered to accompany Henry upstairs to read some superhero comic books.

Both Snow and Emma sat with mugs of hot cinnamon chocolate.

"Do you want to talk about what Archie said?"

Emma had asked Archie earlier whether telling her and Gold about the session was against Doctor-Patient Confidentiality. Archie said it depends on the content being disclosed. In some conditions, it was best to inform the family. It was especially true with Neal's case as he could harm himself on purpose. Besides, they didn't really discuss anything very private.

"Is that the reason David went upstairs? I was surprised that he was interested in superheroes."

"Oh, he is _really_ interested in superheroes. However, you're right. He wants us to talk."

Emma then told Snow about the session.

"Oh, Emma. How do you feel?"

"I think you are asking the wrong person. You should ask Neal how he feels."

"Whatever happens in the hospital affects you too. You're my daughter so of course I care about how you feel."

"Well, as long you promise not to offer me rainbow kisses and unicorn stickers to make me feel better, I'll talk, but please be in my best friend mode and not my mother mode."

"Oh Emma, I know you're not a fourth grader so I won't offer you the unicorn stickers. I have some very cute blue bird stickers though."

"Mary Margaret!"

"Sorry, Emma, I couldn't help but joke about it. OK, I'm listening now."

"Well, I'm just worried about him. He doesn't want to eat or sleep or even meet certain people. I know he had nightmares in Portland but not to this extent. He still talked to people although he never told me what his nightmares were. At least I know what his nightmare is this time and I'm part of it."

"Oh, Emma." Snow wrapped her hands around Emma's. "You're not the source of his nightmare. It was just him projecting his guilt."

"I know that but I still feel bad about it. I dropped by last night when he was asleep to bring him his dreamcatcher but it doesn't seem to help."

"Have you asked Rumpelstiltskin about the effectiveness of the dreamcatcher?"

"I would have but it seems Whale suggested that it would be best for Neal to remember his nightmare so that Archie could analyze it. The nightmare is only the symptom, not the problem, so we need to go to the root of the problem."

"OK, that's tricky. You said you were worried. That was not exactly a feeling. How do you feel?"

"Are you asking me as a mother or a friend?"

"Why can't it be both? My mother and I were best friends. Well, not for long."

Snow looked a bit misty eyed so it was Emma's turn to comfort her mother. "I think she did a great job because you turned out so pure and, well, unlike me."

"Don't say that, Emma. You're good."

"Arguable. OK, I will try to articulate how I feel. I'm really not used to this whole talking-about-my-feelings thing."

"You can start small."

"Well, this is not small but it's what bothers me the most. I feel sad, mostly because I admitted my feelings to him over the portal. He also admitted his but he remembers none of it now. I can't admit my feelings all over again if he isn't dying."

"Emma, you don't tell someone how you feel only when he or she is about to die. You can tell the person anytime."

"Obviously you don't know me that well. I don't do feelings well. I'm actually feeling uncomfortable talking to you right now, but I'm trying."

"You're doing great, Emma."

"Thanks. Do you know what's worse? I thought he only admitted his feelings because he was about to die. After all, his fiancée had just shot him so he might have transferred her rejection to me. However, when they cut off his shirt for the operation, they handed his belongings for safe keeping. Do you know what I found? The swan pendant."

"Isn't that the pendant you used to wear? I've wondered what happened to it ever since you came back from New York, but I didn't dare ask."

"Yes, that pendant. It was a gift from Neal. Well, he stole it for me." Emma winced.

"That's OK, Emma. I'm not judging you. I was a bandit."

"Well, I returned the pendant to him saying that I only kept it to remind myself not to trust anyone. That was a lie of course. I didn't know he kept it all this time."

"I guess he values it as much as you."

"If he still has feelings for me, why did he never admit it? Why did he act like I was behaving like a jealous ex?"

"You did act like a jealous ex."

"Not helping."

Snow's lips quivered into a smile. "Sorry. Well, men are strange creatures. Perhaps he was afraid of rejection because you did say you had no feelings for him. Besides, he had a fiancée. You couldn't expect him to dump her as it would look bad and he didn't want you to be the third party."

"This is too complex."

"Most relationships are. My relationship with David is not simple either."

"So what do I do? I know he still has feelings for me although he'll never admit it unless I open up first which I won't. He doesn't know that I know about his feelings. He also doesn't know that his feelings are reciprocated and I don't plan to tell him anytime soon."

Snow covered her face. "OK, I agree this is more complex than my problem. What's wrong with you two?"

"I don't know, perhaps fear of rejection from an early age."

"I'm so sorry, Emma, I didn't mean to leave you alone in this world."

"I know. I should blame Pinocchio for that. I was merely stating the facts. Besides, Neal had it worse, being abandoned by both parents. I could still fantasize that I was a lost princess although it seems to be a fact now. Neal didn't have that luxury."

"I guess you two just need to talk, not admit feelings straight away. Just talk normally likes friends."

"I'm not sure about talking but I'll go check on his condition tomorrow morning before his session with Archie. If he is up to talking, we'll talk. Otherwise, I could just leave and let Archie handle whatever reactions my visit triggered."

"That sounds like a plan. I'm proud of you for taking the initiative. Now do you want another cup of hot chocolate?"

* * *

"Rumpel, why are you spinning so late at night?"

"I can't sleep and I didn't want to disturb you."

"Is this about Baelfire?"

"Yes, I'm worried about what Dr. Hopper told me."

"Oh, Rumpel, I'm sure there is a solution for everything. People have come back stronger from much worse situations all the time."

"Please give me an example."

"I know of this guy who lost his arms after an accident but he still competes in Paralympics and even paints using his legs. There is always hope."

"Belle, where did you read such a story? I don't think it's in any classical books."

"Silly, there is the Internet. You can read all sorts of things online."

"You were locked up until a few months ago and then lost your memory until just recently. Who could have possibly taught you how to use the Internet in the last few days?"

"Ruby, of course. It's surprisingly easy to use. I still need to learn to type faster but at least I can type a query into Google or read the news or motivational stories."

Rumpelstiltskin smirked despite his mood. "I believe you as you are a quick learner. Is that how you spent your time with Ruby?"

"Of course, Rumpel. What do you think I do with her?"

"I don't know. Shopping? Talking about men perhaps?"

Belle sat on his lap and smiled. "That is such a bad stereotype. Don't flatter yourself! Why should I talk about you all the time?"

"So you talk about me some of the time then."

"I'm not telling." Belle pouted playfully. "So what are your worries? You could tell me over dinner. It's not a burden for me. I love Baelfire too."

"Thanks, Belle. What have I done to deserve you? Really? You love him. You haven't even officially met."

"I have eyes and ears. From what I have heard so far from others and from what I observed when he was in a coma, he has a good soul. But lost, just like you."

"I'm to blame for that."

"Not entirely. I think his mother played an important part too as you told me she left when he was only five. Not to mention what he had encountered afterward."

"But he looked up to me the most and I have disappointed him."

"All is not lost. He still loves you as he responded to you in his coma. We can just learn from our mistakes and move forward. Besides, Archie said he was looking for you so he still misses you."

"But Belle, I am in his nightmares. Both versions of them. I'm not sure I can make it better if I'm the cause of them. He doesn't even want to sleep and eat. He stabbed himself to keep himself awake." He was now on the verge of tears.

"Nightmares are so complicated that we can't blame it entirely on just one thing. Even if you are to blame, there is nothing to be done as it was in the past. Just amend your relationship with him now."

"You're such an amazing person. You know that, Belle?"

"I know and you could be too if you believed in yourself more. Is there anything you can do for his fear?"

"Well, I can remove it magically but Whale said it can be handled by science. After Archie left, Whale injected Bae with some dreamless sleeping medicine. It's not good to stay awake for too long as he's supposed to be on the mend. What if he can't wake up again because of the medicine?"

"I'm sure Dr Whale has learned his lesson after the last time. We'll find a way if he really can't wake up again but I'm confident he will. How about eating then?"

"I think his trauma caused him to lose his appetite. We'll see what Dr Hopper suggests we do to make him eat after tomorrow's session."

"I'm sure we'll find a solution. It seems that he suffers the same problems as you, Rumpel."

"What is that? Cowardice? I don't think he's a coward."

"No, Rumpel. The feeling that you're not worthy enough to be loved and the fear of rejection."

"How could you possibly surmise that with your non-interaction with him?"

"From what you said about his interactions with Emma. That was exactly how you reacted to me, Rumpel. You constantly rejected me, remember?"

"Sorry, dearie. I didn't mean to. I'm still not sure why you love me."

"See, that's what I mean. You keep questioning that. I love you despite your flaws and you still feel you're not worthy of it. Baelfire suffers the same thing but he covers it better."

"Do you mean that if he feels secure and loved, he'll get better?"

"That's exactly what I mean."

"Thanks, Belle. You seem to know psychology better than Dr Hopper.

"Not really. I just know from personal experience."

"I love you. You know that right? I can never say that enough."

Belle smiled. "I know. I know. I love you too."

"Let's go to bed."

Rumpelstiltskin decided that he'd see Bae before his session with Dr Hopper. If he didn't want to talk to him, that's fine. He would learn to handle rejection better, like Belle said. He would just wait outside during the session as he felt the need to stay close to his son, at least physically.

* * *

**Notes:**

-The Wolfbane was inspired by the NBC's Grimm.

-I planned to wipe Greg's memory. Initially Gold was supposed to do that but Pace1818 said it's better for Regina to do it so she can start her redemption and I agree. As Snapegirlkmf said it was the Harry Potter treatment. Also thanks to RainMirror to remind me about the cloaking spell.

-I hope they're in characters. I know Emma doesn't talk about feelings but perhaps she can start somewhere. Archie may get the Doctor-Patient Confidentiality wrong because he got the degree from a curse. He meant well.

-I'm not used to write fluff or romance so I hope the Charmings, Snowing and Rumbelle come out OK.

-I've just watched "Nasty Habits". Poor three generations of Stiltskin men. I was surprised with Emma's admission of her feelings and I wrote this chapter before it aired. But then again she will kiss Hook in the next episode so I'm not sure what's going on, LOL.


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